14 Things You Should Never Apologize For
Having the ability to apologize is a positive trait and often a necessary part of life.
It reflects strong interpersonal skills and it is one of the essential parts of emotional intelligence.
When you apologize, it releases you from that guilty feeling of having wronged someone, and it restores the sense of trust between you and the other person.
But, sometimes we apologize only because we care too much about what others think.
As a result, people may view these excessive apologies as a weakness or a lack of confidence, or even a lack of competence.
Now, this isn’t to knock the value of admitting to our mistakes and making amends if we are wrong – of course, you should indeed apologize when necessary, but there is no need to say sorry when there is no reason to do so.
Here are 14 things you don’t have to apologize for!
1. Your Appearance
When you apologize for things like looking tired or having a bad hair day, it comes off as a lack of self-compassion.
You are who you are. Why would an apology be necessary for what you look like? Assuming that you don’t show up at the office in sweatpants and a t-shirt, you really don’t need to apologize for how you look.
2. Expressing Your Emotions
In any relationship, it’s important to express your feelings. This helps others better understand you, and it deepens the connection you have.
On the flip side, when you suppress your emotions in one area, they tend to come up in another area.
This can appear as depression, anger, or anxiety, and it can even cause physical illness.
There is nothing wrong with expressing your emotions. It’s healthy behavior and not something you should feel like you have to hide.
In fact, expressing your emotions will make you happier because it can help you cope with life better.
3. Asking For Help or Clarification
Becoming overwhelmed from time to time is normal and something that happens to everyone.
When you reach out and ask for help, it doesn’t mean you are weak.
It’s not a reflection of your ability to handle situations. When you find yourself asking for help or clarification, you don’t need to apologize.
In addition, when you don’t know the answer to something, admitting that you don’t know can actually be empowering.
It shows the other person that you are open-minded and willing to learn. It also shows that you are humble.
And, if someone has an issue with you questioning something, most likely it’s their lack of security in their knowledge.
4. Being Honest
People often ask for an honest opinion. But what happens when you tell them what you honestly think? Usually, they just get upset and tell you that you hurt their feelings. Right?
Then, of course, the first thing you do is attempt to remedy the situation by trying to somehow retract your statement.
You lie and apologize for what you’ve said. But here’s the thing… You shouldn’t have to do that.
They asked you for an honest opinion, and you did just that – you gave them an honest opinion.
Don’t feel guilty about telling the truth, and don’t apologize for it either! The truth can be harsh, but it’s often important.
And in most cases, once they calm down, they will appreciate your honesty.
5. Other People’s Behaviour
Each one of us is responsible for our own actions and behaviors. You should never feel apologetic for something someone else has done – even if you feel that what they have done somehow connects to you through association.
How another person acts or behaves is out of your control. Even if you feel like you want to make things better, or you feel like you are to blame, there is no need to apologize for things that others do.
6. Taking Time To Make Decisions
These days, it seems that people have very little patience. Everyone wants everything now – right now.
Nobody wants to wait for anything. People expect you to do things according to their timetable – they expect you to quickly answer questions, emails, etc.
Then what happens is that you feel pressured. You end up making rash decisions because you didn’t have the time to fully think things over.
Do know that just because other people have these expectations, it does not mean that you have to be on standby like a bellhop.
And you should never feel like you have to apologize for taking the time to make a decision.
You obviously want to think it over and make the right one – one that is responsible and informed.
7. Your Past
Your past is just that, your past. While some of your past experiences may not reflect the best of you, it doesn’t mean that is who you are today.
We are all on a journey through life and we make mistakes as we go – hopefully learning from them! As long as you have grown as a person, your past mistakes shouldn’t be things you apologize for today.
8. Ending Unhealthy Relationships
Any relationship that has gone south where all hope is lost will have an ill effect on your life.
It will have a damaging impact on your mental health. If you are in a relationship where the other person is just poison in your life, you should end it – the sooner, the better.
And yes, it will be painful for a while – remembering good times that you surely shared at some point – but you have to think of the now and see things for what they are, not what they were.
Don’t feel guilty about it or apologize for it. Instead, surround yourself with people who appreciate, respect, and care about you – people who make you feel good.
9. Making Positive Changes
Often, people have a hard time with change – sadly, even when it’s you, changing for the better.
In most cases, that’s because (in a way) you are predictable – they know what to expect from you, and they know how to respond to you.
But there is nothing wrong with you making positive changes – you should – and you have every right to do so.
It’s natural to want to evolve into a better person, and there’s really no need to apologize for making changes that are right for you.
Even if some people find it challenging to adjust to these changes, eventually they will.
10. Standing Up For Yourself
Your rights are just as important as anybody else’s, and there are times when you have to speak up for yourself.
There is nothing wrong with asking people in your life to honor your boundaries or correct their mistakes.
Your feelings matter just as much as the next persons and you don’t need to apologize for this.
Standing up for yourself will not only empower you, but it will also encourage you and boost your confidence.
11. Things That Didn’t Work Out
When we are passionate about something, we often put our all into it – be it a relationship, career, or anything else.
Our passion fuels us to do our best. But sometimes even this passion is not enough to give us the desired result, and things don’t turn out how we had hoped they would.
Your career may come to an early halt – perhaps you got laid off, or that relationship you thought was going so well, has turned sour.
If you know that you did your best, you don’t need to apologize for the journey coming to an end.
12. Your Priorities
You don’t need to explain or justify your priorities to anyone. These are important things that should come first and you need to focus on them – even if it’s an inconvenience for others.
Don’t allow other people to make you feel guilty about your priorities. And you certainly don’t need to apologize for allocating time to things that are important in your life.
If something is important to you, then it is important – and those who matter will respect that.
13. Following Your Purpose
Success doesn’t just happen. It’s a journey. You have to find your purpose, then create goals, and then follow through to make them a reality.
You have to stay focused and follow your dreams without feelings of guilt.
There will always be people who think they know what’s best for you, but you are the one in charge of your life and your own success.
Always stay true to yourself and don’t let others get in the way of your purpose, goals, and dreams.
You don’t need to feel guilty about these things, and you shouldn’t need to apologize for them.
14. Being Sick
Unfortunately, this is not something that you have control over. Whether you have the dreaded flu, or you’re suffering from something more serious like depression – you do not need to apologize.
Just focus on getting better. And instead of apologizing for being sick, explain what you are going through so others can understand.
Conclusion
When it’s clear that you’ve hurt someone or done something that you know was wrong, you certainly should apologize.
It’s important to do so, to let the other person know that you are remorseful.
But you don’t need to apologize for things or situations where you have done no wrong.
This will invalidate you, reinforce feelings of low self-worth, and give off the impression that you are less capable.
In the future, if you find yourself wanting to apologize for something, just stop for a minute and think about whether or not you are to blame.
If you find that you are not to blame, then you don’t need to apologize. I want to know what you guys think.