When you hear about introversion, does it feel like it’s describing you?
The parts about liking to spend time alone, not being too keen on shallow small talk, and feeling drained after spending too much time with other people, are all very true for you.
But then, some other aspects of introversion don’t apply to you at all! Maybe you have a large circle of friends, and you genuinely enjoy socializing.
And while you prefer meaningful conversation, you’re actually good at having a light chat with others.
Do you find this confusing, and are you starting to wonder if you really are an introvert?!
If so, then keep watching! Here are some clues that you may just be an extroverted introvert.
1. You Find People Interesting
As an introvert, you love to people watch. But you also like to meet new people – even if it is a little scary.
You enjoy asking them about their lives to try and get to know them better.
This doesn’t mean you want to do this all the time, though. Despite your interest in people, you still prefer only small amounts of socializing at a time.
2. You Reach Out To Others
More often than not, you’re the one who organizes social events for others – since being stuck at a party is a big fear of yours.
You know that you’ll want to escape once your limit for socialization has been reached.
And this makes being the host, the ideal job for you as an extroverted introvert.
This way, you can spend time with people on your own terms, while still being able to duck out easily if you need to.
3. You Enjoy Being Around Others
Even Larger Groups Most introverts prefer alone time or spending time with just a few close friends. But you aren’t opposed to social gatherings and talking to strangers.
However, unlike most extroverts, you can only handle this for so long. And once you’ve reached your limit, you’ll feel depleted.
This doesn’t mean you’re having a bad time; your batteries just run out.
4. You Need Time Between Social Events
Extroverts are usually able to socialize daily – all week long – and even feel energized by all the activity.
Parties and group outings excite them. As an extroverted introvert, you may like the idea of a party-filled lifestyle, but the reality of it would leave you wishing to be anywhere else.
You need time in between these events to recover. Maybe you can handle one or two group events in a month without draining yourself – but any more than that would be disastrous.
Some extroverted introverts might try to push themselves to keep up with everyone else, but it’ll only lead to exhaustion, anxiety, and even irritability.
5. You Often Change Your Mind Last Minute
You can plan and look forward to an event for weeks, but on the much-anticipated day, you can suddenly feel an overwhelming urge to just stay home.
Even thinking about getting ready to go out makes you feel anxious – despite how much you were looking forward to it.
It can be hard to explain the sudden change of heart to your extroverted friends.
But you’re just not sure whether you’ll be able to endure the stimulation.
6. You Make Connections, But They Don’t Always Last
You meet people you like while socializing, and you intend to stay in touch. But once you return to your daily life, you don’t try and make an effort to do so.
It’s not that you’re rude or trying to break the promise intentionally, but you know how much time and effort it will take to build the kind of deep relationship you want.
Anything superficial isn’t attractive to you – so you tend to just reach out to your already established friends.
Of course, there can be exceptions to this when you connect with someone on a deeper level right away.
You’ll want to really engage with them – and this kind of meaningful conversation encourages you to put in the effort to keep building on the connection.
7. You Find Certain Social Settings Better Than Others
A get-together at someone’s house is fine, but an event somewhere ‘noisy and crowded’ is a whole different ball game.
Sometimes, the energy of the group can raise yours, and other times it can really exhaust you.
There are group events you try to avoid as much as possible because of how much they drain you.
It might take a few tries and negative experiences to figure out the social settings you can tolerate and those you can’t.
8. To Avoid Talking, You Ask A Lot Of Questions
You might be seen as a great conversationalist because of how sincerely curious you are about others.
You’re genuinely interested in people, and you know that by asking questions, you’re inviting the other person to speak – which means you don’t have to.
You’re better at just listening. This way, you’re able to determine whether or not the person you’re talking to has the potential for a meaningful connection based on their responses.
9. You Find Group Settings Where You Can Be Alone
Sometimes, you want to be around others, but you don’t necessarily want to interact with them.
Being surrounded by their energy is enough, and you don’t feel the need to talk.
You enjoy going to public places where there are a good number of people around – while you can remain anonymous and somewhat secluded.
This curbs your loneliness without having to prepare for a social situation.
10. You’re In Your Head – Even When Out With Others
Part of the reason socializing causes so much exhaustion is because you’re trying to be engaged with the outside world, and at the same time, your own mind.
Being an introvert means you spend most of your time in your own head – over-analyzing situations and just generally residing in your own thoughts.
Balancing your attention between your brain and the outside world requires a lot of energy, and it can make you feel like an outsider – like an observer, rather than an active participant.
11. You Are Very Particular When It Comes To Friends
You might be comfortable socializing with many different people, but your true inner circle of friends is small and limited to meticulously picked individuals.
There are only a few people with whom you truly feel connected to – but that isn’t something that bothers you.
Having only a few close friends only makes your relationships deeper and more cherished.
Putting your energy into a few close friends is better for you than trying to connect with as many people as possible and spreading yourself thin.
12. You Prefer Text Or Email But Can Talk On The Phone For Hours
For you, it takes a lot of energy to try and have a cohesive conversation over the phone.
You’d much rather just send an email or quick text than converse with someone you can’t see.
When there’s no choice other than to call them, you desperately hope they won’t pick up so you can just leave a voicemail.
On the flip side, you can spend hours talking to your best friend when you crave human interaction, or when you have something profound or exciting to discuss.
13. You Favor Deep And Meaningful Conversations
Every conversation is different, which means the energy it takes to be a part of one, can fluctuate wildly.
Not all conversations will wear you out. It may even energize you to have a long chat about ideas you’re invested in, or talking about in-depth topics with someone equally interested.
But making small talk with someone you don’t really know, is on the opposite end of the spectrum!
You can manage to talk about mundane things for a few minutes, but if the conversation doesn’t move on to something more interesting, you start to lose steam.
14. You Don’t Mind Being In The Spotlight Once In A While
If you’re an extroverted introvert, getting extra attention isn’t always a bad thing.
You may even enjoy getting attention for something you’re passionate about.
Maybe it’s getting a little extra praise for a job well done, or recognition for some important work you accomplished.
You know that not all attention is bad, but a little will go a long way.
15. Others Often Think You’re An Extrovert
People who don’t know you well may confuse you for an extrovert.
You have enough social skills that you can handle yourself, and you work hard to make sure everyone around is comfortable.
The leadership skills you’ve developed, make you seem very confident in social situations.
Behind closed doors, however, you might be incredibly overwhelmed – something your close friends who’ve known you for a while are aware of.
If you’re an extroverted introvert, it’s smart to have someone close by who knows you well, so they can recognize when it’s time for you to go.
Even with all of these signs, you must keep in mind that there’s no right or wrong way to experience introversion.
We all act introverted sometimes, and extroverted at others. You can be an introvert while having an outgoing personality.
It’s all about understanding what you need to be able to function in your daily life, and doing whatever makes you feel comfortable – whether that’s being the life of the party one day, or curling up in your bed with a good book the next!
So, are you an extroverted introvert? If so, what is the best or worst part about it? Share your thoughts and comments below!
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