For some people, being interesting comes naturally; for others, holding someone’s genuine attention can be more difficult.
If you notice that people seem sleepy or disinterested when you talk, you might not be all that exciting to talk to or listen to.
Don’t worry. Being a human tranquilizer isn’t your fate. And you don’t need to memorize fun facts or be the life of the party to be interesting.
But you will need to develop more substance to engage others. Here are some telltale signs that you’re a rather boring person, and some tips on how to change that:
1. You Never Disagree, Have Opinions, Or Speak For Yourself
There is a fine line between laid-back and boring, and if you avoid conflict by rarely voicing your opinions, you’re probably on the boring side of that line.
Going with the flow isn’t inherently bad. But, when you don’t bring engagement or excitement to the discussion, you miss out on potential connections with others, and you might even let conversations die.
Always consider what your point of view is, and don’t be afraid to share it.
People often appreciate and remember those who have new or unusual opinions. Just don’t be obnoxious about it.
2. You Talk Too Much
Some boring people have the complete opposite issue. They share way too much! Talking too much tells people that you’re not interested in what they have to say.
So, practice listening more. And when you do talk, consider asking thoughtful questions that encourage other people to keep talking.
Also, it’s important to be mindful of what your audience’s interests are. When you touch on a topic that resonates with them, you’ll make more meaningful conversations.
If you notice that people’s eyes wander when you’re speaking, it’s a sign that they’re bored.
When this happens, you should either shift to a new topic or end the conversation.
3. You’re In A Rut
If you’re stuck in a rut doing the bare minimum to survive, you’re probably boring.
After all, what is there to talk about when all you do is work, eat, and sleep? Interesting people are interested in life.
They explore the world with curiosity, question what they don’t understand, and share their joy with others.
It’s much easier to hold a conversation with someone who experiences new and exciting things.
If you struggle to find topics to discuss, consider expanding your horizons by trying something new or visiting someplace different.
Experiences like these will boost your energy and give you things to talk about.
4. You Lack Enthusiasm
When you think of a boring activity, it probably involves something monotonous.
Well, interacting with a boring person can feel monotonous and never-ending, too. Some people aren’t very expressive.
It might seem like they have only one setting for their facial expressions and tone of voice.
Usually, these people also avoid eye contact and don’t use verbal fillers such as “uh-huh” all that much.
A lack of enthusiasm makes you seem boring, and if you suffer from monotony, consider working on your social reciprocity skills which involve non-verbal communication that shows your interest.
You can try making more eye contact, nodding, smiling, and laughing when it’s appropriate.
5. You Don’t Read
Sometimes, having new experiences can be a challenge. Going on adventures isn’t a feasible option for everyone, but you can always gather more topics to talk about when you read.
Reading opens your world to conversation starters and knowledge. It can be especially helpful to read material that other people recognize, too.
Try picking up a best-seller or a popular classic. If you want a quicker read, consider keeping up with the news or reading a popular magazine.
When you do mention your reading material, avoid simply regurgitating what you’ve read.
Incorporate your own ideas and try holding a meaningful conversation.
6. You’ve Lost Your Sense Of Wonder
For many, aging and becoming jaded are synonymous.
Disappointments and failures are part of life, and that kind of negativity can easily drown out positivity.
When you allow life to beat you down and close off how you view the world, you transform into a person who is bored and boring.
If you want to overcome this perpetual boredom, you’ll need to learn how to approach things with a new and open perspective once again.
And that requires maintaining an open mind. Challenge yourself to learn new things every day, go online and research, volunteer, and meet new people.
The more curious you are about the world around you, the more interesting you become.
7. You’re Too Focused On Your Problems
Venting about your problems is normal, and talking through hardships can be helpful.
But some people dwell on their issues too much, making their problems other people’s problems, too.
Be cautious of oversharing and not considering how your negativity can affect others.
No one in your life has the emotional capacity to listen to your problems all the time.
If you know that you suffer from emotional dumping, consider putting a time limit on your venting sessions, or avoid revisiting the same issue with the same person multiple times.
When you realize you’ve been discussing your problems at length, at least consider if the person you’re talking to wants to talk about their problems, too.
8. You Never Put Your Phone Down
You may be attached to your phone, but it’s a serious conversation killer.
Your phone takes your attention away from what or who is in front of you, and it sends the message that you don’t care.
When you stare at your phone, you’re not focused on who you’re talking to, and you probably don’t have anything to contribute.
And that makes you a boring person. Give your attention to the people around you, not your screen. And don’t worry. You won’t miss anything if you put your phone away for a little while.
If you’re concerned about coming off as boring, the best solution is to add more excitement to your life. Focus on new experiences, learning, and having fun, and the rest will follow.
When your life is interesting, you don’t need to prove it. You just need to be honest and authentic.
People will gravitate toward you when you show that you are fun, curious, and exciting.
Your interest in them will foster mutual interest in you. So don’t worry about trying too hard not to seem boring.
Plus, surrounding yourself with other interesting people will make socializing easier.
Play to your strengths, make do with what you have and don’t give up.
Even the most reserved people can create exciting engagement with a little bit of effort.
Thanks for reading!
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