Why Some Guys Can’t Get A Girlfriend
Lots of single guys struggle to find a girlfriend, are you one of them? If so, instead of stressing about it, know that you can do something about it.
Whether you’ve had luck with women in the past or not, there’s probably a reason, or a few, why you can’t get a girlfriend right now. Most of the time, men continue to struggle because they don’t know what those reasons are.
Fortunately, identifying those barriers isn’t as hard as you might think. If you find yourself wondering why you can’t seem to get a girlfriend, some of the following reasons might be the culprit
1. Don’t Know How To Flirt
The most common reason guys struggle to get a girl is that they don’t know how to flirt. The good news is that anyone can learn, regardless of their physical attractiveness.
Flirting is a form of art, and cultivating this skill will not only help you get a girlfriend but will also help you keep her.
You see, you should never stop flirting with your partner even after you’re in a serious, committed relationship. Effective flirting helps keep the spark alive.
It adds spice to the relationship since it communicates your attraction and desire.
Now, there isn’t a rule book when it comes to flirting because everyone has different methods. But, like any skill, you’re going to need practice before you get good.
2. Being Too Anxious Around Women
The next most common barrier to finding a relationship is anxiety. If you don’t feel comfortable around women, you’re probably not capable of being the most authentic version of yourself.
Anxiety can make it hard to smile and laugh, which are two things that people are generally attracted to.
Your nervous nature around women could result from negative experiences like rejection or a lack of exposure.
The difficult solution to this problem is to put yourself in situations that make you anxious. When your brain learns that there’s really no danger, your anxiety will start to fade.
So, expose yourself to women. No, not like that. Spend time with them. Talk to them. Practice your social skills. Another strategy is positive thinking.
Anxiety is the voice that says things will go wrong – but you can fight it by focusing on the bright side.
Instead of catastrophizing the situation, think about how the woman you’re talking to is just another human being.
And even if she rejects you, she’ll probably be nice; and if she isn’t, well, she’s probably not someone you’d want to date anyway.
3. Lack Of Self Care
Another reason some guys can’t a girl has to do with poor self-care practices. There are a lot of people out there who don’t take care of their bodies.
Usually, guys who don’t have a healthy diet, don’t exercise regularly, or have bad hygiene don’t feel confident about their looks. But instead of changing their situation, they complain about not being able to get a girlfriend.
The problem is, women feel the same way about these men’s appearance, and most of them don’t find it very attractive. If you never shave, survive on fast food, and rarely exercise, you’re telling women that you don’t care enough to put effort into your own well-being.
So, you probably won’t put effort into a relationship, either. Plus, women like guys who dress well and smell nice. So, get a haircut. And do whatever else you need to do.
Probably laundry. Being attractive doesn’t boil down to natural good looks. A little effort will take you a long way.
4. Being Too Negative
The hard truth is that nobody wants to spend time with someone who complains all the time. If you’re generally a pessimistic person, your negativity could be driving women away.
To avoid rejection, try to be more positive. Or, at least, less negative. The next time you’re talking to a woman, consider telling a heartwarming story or recalling a happy memory.
Try complimenting her or mentioning a positive observation about where you are. Joy is contagious, so your positive energy is more likely to elicit a positive response from her.
5. Reeking Of Desperation
One of the most unattractive qualities a man can have is desperation. Although some men might be desperate for attention, most of the time, they act desperate for sex.
They’ll do anything to get laid. And, worse, they’ll do anything because they have no standards.
If this sounds familiar, your desire for women could be the reason why they never stick around. Your desperation might also manifest as having no boundaries.
If it does, you’ll do anything to please a woman – even if she’s toxic and manipulative. But regardless, most women find this attitude weak and unattractive.
If you want to impress the ladies, raise your standards. You shouldn’t want to sleep with someone simply for the fact that she’s a female.
Think about what you want in a partner. Not just in terms of physical attraction but also regarding an emotional connection. Get to know the person before deciding if you want to date.
The solution to desperation is to respect women and respect yourself because everyone deserves that.
6. Being Too Insecure
Insecurity is another massive turn-off for women, and usually, insecure men don’t put themselves out there in the first place.
For those insecure guys who somehow do end up with a woman, insecurities cause serious problems in the relationship – like overwhelming jealously, unhealthy dependence, or inconsolable anxiety.
It might even lead to issues with aggression and control. If your insecurities are preventing you from getting a girlfriend, then you need to learn self-compassion.
Instead of beating yourself about your shortcomings, cut yourself a break with some kindness. There’s a voice in your head that tells you “you’re not good enough.” Prove him wrong, and while you’re at it, tell him to get lost.
Focus on your positive qualities, the ones your friends and family love about you.
7. Giving Up Too Soon
Studies reveal that most single guys are, well, single because they don’t try enough times.
So, your problem might be that you give up too soon! Rejection is a part of life, no matter what you do, whether that’s landing a job, getting into a university, or asking a girl out.
And sometimes, rejection has nothing to do with you. If a woman is in a relationship or not interested in men, that rejection isn’t your fault.
She just isn’t the right person for you. So learn to accept rejection and move on. Instead of letting failure beat you down, use it to boost yourself up.
Learn from your mistakes. Adjust your technique and get back out there. Remember, the more NOs you get, the closer you are to a YES.
8. Chasing The Wrong Types
Everyone has preferences when it comes to people they like to date. Some people, however, have types that are more likely to reject them than others.
For example, you might be a clean-cut, reserved kind of guy, and your type of girl might be someone more adventurous, but they happen to prefer the bad boy type.
You can’t help who you’re attracted to, and you shouldn’t change yourself to fit someone else’s ideal type.
And although this dilemma isn’t your fault, it is your responsibility to improve your situation. Consider breaking away from your type. Approach women you usually wouldn’t.
Get to know them. You might find out that the perfect girl for you doesn’t fit into your preferred type at all. Have an open mind when it comes to dating. Look past superficial things like hair color, body type, or occupation.
Perhaps you’ll discover that you have a whole new type!
These are the most common reasons why guys can’t get women to date them. If you think that one or more of these points describe you, you should take some time to improve yourself before joining the dating scene.
If you don’t love, respect, and treat yourself with compassion, it is a lot harder to treat others that way. And, in the end, that’s what all women want.
When you work on these issues, you’ll notice that it’s a lot easier not only to find someone to date but to keep them around as well.